They Pretend To Be Us While Pretending We Don’t Exist

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If you read one thing today let it be this, this, this:

They Pretend To Be Us While Pretending We Don’t Exist by Jenny Zhang via Buzzfeed.

We want to print and frame the entire masterpiece.

Did he just propose?

Zahra Noorbakhsh

Zahra Noorbakhsh

When I pulled my car into the parking garage of our apartment building, I blinked twice. Standing in our parking spot, wearing a tux, was my boyfriend, Dylan, beaming and holding a rose. I blushed. I couldn’t believe that he’d actually remembered our anniversary in time to get a suit, pick up a rose, and surprise me at the parking garage.

I got out of the car, kissed and hugged him, and then thanked him for the rose.

“You are so lucky!” I said, “I almost didn’t come home tonight! I was about to go have dinner with a friend. I would have totally missed your surprise.”

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The Weight of the Unwritten Word

Huda Al-Marashi

Huda Al-Marashi

I didn’t write this summer. Not only were my children home from school all day, but it was Ramadan and we were finally moving into the house we’d been rebuilding from the foundation up for close to two years. It was too much to juggle, the boxes, the hunger, the thirst, the late night iftars, and I thought it would help to declare an official break. Maybe then I could stave off the frustration of trying to write and not getting anything done.

Even when I took a short break for a writing fellowship in Aspen, I came home and got right back to not writing. I unpacked boxes, made arrangements for our unfinished deck, and refinanced our construction loan. At night, I revised my long lists of to dos, filled with subcontractors to call, items to order, items to buy, items to return. During the day, I went from room to room, organizing closets, washing linens that had been in storage for two years and putting them away, asking myself about every mismatched towel, table cloth, and drape, “Why? Why did we bring this?” I waited for the electrician, the plumber, the carpenter, the painter. And still I didn’t write anything. I didn’t look at my manuscript, only rarely scribbled in my journal, and hardly ever read. “This so much better,” I reminded myself. “Get everything done now and then you can focus in the fall.”

But that frustration I thought I was avoiding by lowering my expectations never relented. It chased me down daily if not hourly. Coursing in the back of mind was always this loop of accusations: “You’ve lost your way this time;” “You can’t be a serious writer if you can take such long breaks from your work;” “There must be a minimum word count a week that distinguishes the real writers from fakers like you.”

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Dating White, Dating Brown

Eds. Note: This is a response piece to “Why I Don’t Date White Men” by columnist Tanzila Ahmed

Deonna Kelli

Deonna Kelli

My 13-year-old son, an Afghan-American, recently commented that his white mother only likes brown men. That is an interesting thing for a son to say about a mother so white that she looks like she poops pumpkin spice. Plus, he hasn’t seen me with any man other than his father. I asked him to clarify, and he said that “as long as I’ve known you – 13 years – most of the people you associate with are not white.”

That observation isn’t exactly true; my son’s maternal grandparents are white, of course. I have several white friends. Yet, his statement was interesting as he is beginning to actively identify as a person of color at the same time his mother is attempting to negotiate the complex realities of being a divorced white Muslim woman looking for love.

What my son doesn’t know is this: I had a white boy fetish after my divorce.

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Brilliant, beautiful, & fierce Viola Davis!

Viola Davis, the first African American woman to win the Emmy for best actress/drama

Viola Davis

Congratulations to the brilliant, beautiful, & fierce Viola Davis on becoming the first African American woman to win the Emmy for best actress/drama! Read her speech below, or listen/watch here – she will bring tears to your eyes.

” ‘In my mind, I see a line. And over that line, I see green fields, and lovely flowers, and beautiful white women with their arms stretched out to me over that line, but I can’t seem to get there no how. I can’t seem to get over that line.’ That was Harriet Tubman in the 1800s.

And let me tell you something. The only thing that separates women of color from anyone else is opportunity. You cannot win an Emmy for roles that are simply not there. So here’s to all the writers, the awesome people… Shonda Rhimes. People who have redefined what it means to be beautiful, to be sexy, to be a leading woman. To be black. And to the Taraji P. Hensons, the Kerry Washingtons, the Halle Berrys, the Nicole Beharis, the Meagan Goods, to Gabrielle Union. Thank you for taking us over that line. Thank you, for the television academy.”

#IStandWithAhmed: An Outpouring of Love & Solidarity

14-year-old Ahmed Mohamed

All the feels after reading this article on nerds uniting to support Sudanese-American boy genius Ahmed Mohamed & the outpouring of online support under the hashtag #IStandWithAhmed.

Brings home yet again the importance of solidarity with all minorities targeted by the police/racism. Stop criminalizing our black and brown kids, America.

RT @POTUS: Cool clock, Ahmed. Want to bring it to the White House? We should inspire more kids like you to like science. It’s what makes America great.

RT @HillaryClinton: Assumptions and fear don’t keep us safe—they hold us back. Ahmed, stay curious and keep building.

RT @MacrLamontHill: Hoping that the movement translates into a substantive national conversation on race, punishment, and incarceration.

Articles of note:

Dilshad Ali: Parenting Black Kids, Parenting Brown Kids, Parenting Muslim Kids

Dean Obeidallah: Ahmed Mohamed Is the Muslim Hero America’s Been Waiting For

Teju Cole: America’s Thirst for Heroism

Desis Rising Up & Moving (DRUM): Meet the Muslim Students Who Have Been Harassed at School for Less than a Clock

In the event of their demise

Eds. Note: Guest columnist Na’aisha Austin returns with a beautiful follow up on finding love again after loss. Read her first piece, Memoirs of the Beautiful Widow, here


Surely on that Day, the residents of paradise will be busy with their joy; they and their spouses will be in shady groves reclining on soft couches. They will have all kinds of fruit and they will get whatever they call for, they will be greeted with the word salaam from the Lord of Mercy.  – Sura Ya Seen (Qur’an 36:55-58)


I awake in a sea of confusion, body quivering, chest heaving. I glance over to my left. There he is, sleeping, lightly snoring. Apparently, we succumbed to exhaustion and fell asleep mid-conversation last night.

Neither one of us is under the covers, but I’m sweating profusely.

“My phone, my phone. Where’s my phone?” I whisper in the obsidian darkness.

One press of the button on my smudged iPhone reveals that it is 12:37 a.m. As I stare at the regal and romantic wedding photograph of us set as my wallpaper, it hits me that today is September 8th.

Qaadir, my first husband, died seven years ago today.

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