It’s that time of year – congratulations to all the 2013 graduates! We send you our very best wishes and the wise words of the late, great David Foster Wallace whose brilliant commencement speech has been turned into this gorgeous short film.
Ed. note: Today our columnists are answering two similar questions that came in within days of one another.
Dear Love InshAllah,
I am happily married, and have been so for the past six years. Our sex drives, though, were never compatible; last year we had a very open and loving discussion where I suggested that he might be asexual. After some consideration, he agreed. Sex wasn’t very often (maybe 1-2 times a year) but now it is nothing. I’m not comfortable discussing this with my Imam, who is fairly conservative. Although my husband doesn’t have a sex drive, I do. I’m a sex-positive person, but don’t know how to navigate this issue in my life. I’ve been praying (for years) but am still stuck. I’m not interested in divorce; we’re very compatible in almost every other way. Is touching and physical intimacy no longer a part of my life?
My Husband is Asexual
Dear Love InshAllah,
I have been married for nearly three years now. The problem is that I have a high sex drive while my husband has little or at times no sex drive. We go 2-3 months without having sex. It leaves me so frustrated mentally and physically! When we do have sex, it is over within a minute or two which is even more frustrating. Lately I have been thinking about satisfying myself because this frustration is killing me, but I don’t feel like going down this path. I have started working out to vent out that pent up sexual energy but still sometimes it gets overwhelming. I have tried dressing provocatively, talking dirty, and discussing this problem with my husband but, according to him, I am the one who has a problem. Please help me. What should I do? I am going crazy.
A Lonely Wife
Shy Desi Boy replies:
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It starts at home. I’m doing the dishes and listening to a podcast. I’m about to rinse off when my brother walks through the front door. “About time,” I think. Salman’s been gone for a while and I was beginning to wonder when he was coming back. We put on some tea, sit down and watch an old episode of Star Trek: The Next Generation, making fun of Worf during the commercials.
That’s when I wake up.
I have this dream every other week. I hate it – not the dream, but being ripped away from it. Waking up is like finding out my brother died all over again.
Rounding out our weekend of awesome women:
27-year-old Raha Moharrak made history by becoming the first Saudi woman to conquer Mount Everest yesterday.
Moharrak’s ascent is the latest step in changing attitudes towards women and sports in Saudi Arabia. The kingdom fielded its first female Olympians at the 2012 Games and officially permitted sports in private girls schools for the first time earlier this month.
Read more at CNN.
Meet two more awesome women after the jump!
Afghan Air Force 2nd Lt. Niloofar Rhmani made history May 14, 2013 when she became the first female in over 30 years to successfully complete undergraduate pilot training and earn the status of pilot. She will continue her service as she joins the Kabul Air Wing as a Cessna 208 pilot.