In the past couple of years I’ve watched friends, former lovers and exes alike choose people to boo up with and partner up with. Some I’ve been surprised by, others made sense to me. Real talk, it doesn’t matter what I think at the end of the day. If you like it, I love it.
I could ask why someone chooses one person over another person but I don’t think there’s any real rhyme or reason. It’s like asking why one person’s voice sounds like a warm and lovely lullaby while another person’s voice sounds like nails against a chalkboard.
I just don’t think we have a choice in the matter.
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Dear Love InshAllah:
I am a virgin, and I really don’t know what to expect come wedding night. I’m definitely excited (one of the greatest understatements of all-time lol), but I am just so utterly clueless as to what I should do to blow the mind of my wife-to-be!
I’ve never kissed a girl let alone done anything to have had any experience whatsoever in the female-pleasuring department. I have never dated. I don’t watch pornography or anything like that, and I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing so given that it’s haraam. But I am at a total loss as to what I should do once my wife and I are alone.
I promise I’m not a lonely creep who lives in a cave. I just had good parents who raised me religiously since I was young. Promise
I have a great relationship with my parents, but I am too shy to even ask my own friends for advice on this issue let alone people like my mom and dad! So I’d really appreciate it if you could give me like a list of things that I should and/or from the moment we are alone to the “main event” itself. Are there any common things that most girls like? Things that, perhaps, they’d be too shy to mention directly? Also, are there any things I should know not to do or say? Misconceptions about girls and their sexuality, etc.? Any reading material you’d advise?
Clueless about my wedding night
Ms. Sunshine replies:
Dear Love Inshallah,
My wife is a beautiful, smart and desirable woman. She wears low-cut, tight blouses and skirts that end just below the knees. She laughs and converses with men at social events that we attend together. I get uncomfortable when other guys stare at or talk to her. I’ve explained this to my wife but she just gets upset and tells me that I have no reason to be insecure. I don’t think this is Islamic or fair for me to watch as other guys check her out. What should I do?
Wish my wife would cover up
Shy Desi Boy replies:
2012 – what a year!
We started it with a love note to Jon Stewart and, a few days later, the New York Times featured Love InshAllah, catapulting the book to #1 on Amazon’s Women’s Studies List and in the top 200 books in the nation.
Amazing press coverage continued, with reviews and features in the global media, including NPR, BBC, The Washington Post, Times of India, and Dawn Pakistan. Love InshAllah is now in its 5th printing and will be translated and published in Spring 2013 in Indonesia.
We kicked off our Love Tour in San Francisco just before Valentine’s Day and read to packed houses in Boston, New York, DC, and LA. We continued our appearances throughout the year with over 30 readings across the country (from Atlanta to Chicago to the SF Bay Area), book festivals (what’s up, LA and Miami!), and online, Skyping with book clubs and university classrooms from coast to coast.
We started this blog to provide a safe and open space to discuss the issues impacting all of us, no matter what our faith or background – love, relationships, intimacy, and community. We’re thrilled by the stories and posts you’ve shared with us! Your contributions and support led to two Brass Crescent Blog Awards: Best Female Blog and Best Post.
We’ll be on hiatus until January 2nd, but as we enter 2013, watch this space for more love stories, posts, and exciting new developments, including:
A sex advice column!
A sequel?! (YES!)
Thank you to our amazing writers, families, friends, and readers for helping us amplify the voices of American Muslim women. The support, encouragement, and love we’ve received this year is overwhelming and inspiring.
Wishing you all a blessed new year filled with health, happiness, and love, inshAllah!
With love and salaams,
Ayesha & Nura
PS – We leave you with a video of another wonderful event this year, Nura’s wedding! (And, find out what happened before her wedding by picking up your copy of Love InshAllah today!)
Have a wonderful holiday season and see you back here on January 2nd!
After my second divorce, I took a break from relationships to decide what I wanted in a future partner.
With two young kids, there was no time for dating. My kids needed me, and I needed myself. So, I composed a list containing everything I wanted in a man. My list had 45 bullet points, (including ‘doesn’t text while we’re together’, to ‘not homophobic’, to ‘likes sex’) that I required as I healed post-divorce
The man who embodied my list manifested in my life three years later – though that was still before I expected him.