Love, American Muslim Style

We love the photo of local star couple Jittaun Jones and her husband Farid Alhadi that heads the San Jose Mercury News article on ‘Love, InshAllah’! Jones is an African-American woman married to an Indonesian man, something that strikes Nura and me as absolutely normal. Here in our home state of California, the two of us – and many of our friends – are in successful interracial partnerships.

But, traveling around the country for our 5-city book tour, we began to wonder if we’re in a big, beautiful bubble. Many of the women and men we spoke to at our readings said they couldn’t imagine bringing someone of another race or sect home to meet the family as a marital prospect.

Readers, weigh in – are there socioeconomic, racial, ethnic, sectarian or other considerations at play in your search for a lifetime partnership?

7 Comments on “Love, American Muslim Style”

  1. Asiila I. says:

    salaams: Well, interracial couples with the wife being of european descent is QUITE common amongst American Muslim couples, however when one of the spouses is black, it is quite the rare sight. It’s THE topic of discussion and oftentimes, upset, with members of distant family and the community, at first. But as time and children come—“our mixed couple” only becomes an issue when the community/masjid wants to impress the outside world with how color and culture blind Islam is…lol

    • Chinyere says:

      Sister, you are right on!

      Racism is rampant, rampant in our communities in more than just the marriage sphere, but you see it there, too. I just take it for granted that certain Muslim men will not be interested in me at this point in my life. I don’t discriminate on the level of race, but I don’t hold my breath for the interracial harmony I expected as a child and when I started practicing again in college. The issue of who is attracted to black woman is one that goes beyond the Muslim community, though. Many black women of other faiths, quiet as it’s kept, are open to interracial relationships, but we’re painted in such a negative light by the media and other sources that we don’t get a fair shot with men who would have otherwise been attracted to us.

  2. jacqui says:

    I never imagined I would marry a “nice Jewish boy.” I did everything to resist it growing up–dated every ethnic, religious and racial variety. But when I did marry the man of my dreams I realized that I was more comfortable marrying an unobservant Jew than any other observant man. I am, in fact, a secular woman. And I think it’s important to realize that one’s values WILL impact love and marriage. I have concluded that I would be happier marrying an unobservant Catholic than an observant Jew, since I don’t believe in organized religion. So there it is.

  3. Sandy says:

    Yes in answer to the question.I just moved to SoCal and lived for short periods of time in NoCal (bay area). California is much more accepting of interracial couples than where I grew up in the midwest and it seems like alot of the rest of the country.

  4. K says:

    I’m a Muslim woman and I know it sounds cliched but race, socio-economic status, etc don’t matter to me at all. My crushes over the years have involved a ‘palette’ of men of all kinds of different backgrounds.

    To me, it’s more important that our minds, hearts and souls can come together in harmony. If I can find a man that I feel understands me, who I’m comfortable talking to about the innermost workings of my heart, who can care for me, love me and grow with me – I will consider myself blessed. Anything else beyond that is unimportant, really.

    Good luck to everyone in search of their better half. 🙂

  5. Suemina says:

    Hello sisters! Forget race and religion am in a situation where me and my partner born and raised in England are having difficultly getting married because his family don’t like the village that my mother is from! Baring in mind that in Bangladesh we are from the same city, same religion, same statues everything the same!