Girls Like It, Too

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Call me crazy, but girls love sex too. (Yes I know, a shocker right?)

Want to hear the crazy truth? Muslim girls love sex as much as their males counterparts. In fact, they are as hormonal as men. They desire sex, passion, hot love-making, PDA and fetishes as well. The most shocking aspect of this is that some Muslim women have slept with men before marriage.

You heard me right. Men. Not a man, but men.

It is a perplexing and a bitter pill for a Muslim man to swallow.

As a young Muslim conservative kid, I never talked to girls. Since some interpretations of Islam hold a strict basis of segregation, I never had the guts even in my college days to approach a Muslim girl and say a mere salaam. I respected the fact she covered her head and observed her chastity.

To be honest, I could not stand the fact that a Muslima had a boyfriend, let alone a one-night stand.

I’ve always had an insecurity that loomed like a dark cloud. I wanted to believe that I have huge heart, yet I felt that I always lacked in looks, personality, and my ‘”swag” factor because I never interacted with females. I was always too conscious about my flaws to notice anything good about myself because I never knew what girls looked for in a guy. Additionally, I always felt that I was a giver, and it devastated me to see Muslim women being used to satiate physical desires. At some level, it seemed to suggest that that guy, Muslim or not, was a better person that me, though he wan not honorable.

For the longest time, this notion haunted me.

I began to detest some of my male friends who indulged in this practice of sleeping around. In desi culture. We call men like that chichoras (sex hungry guys who like to brag about how many women that have slept with). I simply stopped associating with “playas” because I did not want to be that type of man. I felt that being pious and chaste should be an incentive and an attraction to women. To realize that some women were able to throw their chastity away so easily without being wooed romantically (and in a dignified way) devastated me. It shook my whole mentality about romance, love, marriage, and intimacy. Sex is something sacred for me. This has nothing to do with my carnal instinct; I see the act as a tango of two souls.

I took so much pride in my aspirations as a man. The chichoras concept made me uncomfortable. I felt alienated knowing that I was a genuine and chaste individual, but betrayed that in spite of my halal lifestyle I might never enjoy the experience of human intimacy. My mind couldn’t fathom the fact that women could just give themselves over to men who didn’t honor them.

To be fair, it wasn’t just about women. The chichoras not only got sex, but many ended up happily married in spite of their past. Why would a girl who knew that a guy would only use her allow herself to go through with sex? Did she not feel that she would get emotionally attached to the guy? Why would a guy be rewarded in the end with a good marriage after being a playa?

At some point, I realized I needed to get out more, expose my feelings, and take pride in my lifestyle choices as a committed Muslim.

***

I want Muslim women to know that if a man truly desires you, he should embrace your soul, your beauty, and your flaws. If he truly wants to be “one” with you, then he has to realize that you are much more valuable than a few minutes sexual fulfillment. That if he wants you, he will court you in an honorable way. You are a gem, a diamond, a beautiful pure woman who deserves much more than what’s given to you. I hope you truly understand that. Allah made you so beautiful that no man is worth chasing who cannot put a ring in your finger.

I completely understand that sex is a need for everyone, including Muslim women. What I want to emphasize is that there are many Muslim men and women who want to enjoy a fruitful sexual lifestyle through a long-term commitment. There is nothing wrong with two Muslims being intimate. The problem is when Muslims, despite their other worthy traits, indulge in one-night escapades that can be a total turn-off to other Muslims.

May Allah guide us all to the right path. Ameen

 

______

 

Faizan Seedat

Faizan Seedat was born and raised in Karachi, Pakistan and moved to to Chicago in 1999. Faizan decided to do pursue his lifelong goal of hifz from Muslim Society Incorporated.  After finishing his hifz, Faizan completed his undergraduate degree from DePaul University.  After his undergraduate degree, Faizan pursues his MBA/MISM from Keller School of Management.  As an undergraduate, Faizan fell in love with writing and he was chosen as university writing tutor. He is an avid weight lifter, loves to play sports, write poetry, upload fitness videos and revise his Quran. Faizan plans to complete his  degree in Electrical Engineering and to publish technical white papers along with his other personal literary work.

 

 

 


39 Comments on “Girls Like It, Too”

  1. I find it interesting that while there are many who will pounce on Muslim men who express their wish to be with a chaste/ virgin woman, the opposite isn’t heard as much (attacking Muslim women who want chaste/ virgin men) – nor is it a popular position to express, for complex reasons.

    On one hand, yes, we should be forgiving and welcoming and get over our insecurities about other people (men AND women) having sexual pasts… but on the other, there are many Muslim men as well as women who keep themselves chaste and as virgins – and it’s not a bad thing to want the same from one’s future spouse.

    On a slightly unrelated note – as honourably as it was meant, I bristle at the gem/diamond analogy because, well, women aren’t objects, they’re human beings. It is one of my dearest wishes that we do away with this analogy completely (and I say this as a woman who wears niqab).

    In any case, thank you for writing this post – I’m interested to see the comments this will spur.

    • Mahmud says:

      What is your issue with calling women a diamond? Doesn’t the Quran say your women are your tilth/field? Isn’t that an object?

      • Mahmud, you need to reread the verse because as usual you are taking this out of context.

        The verse applies and derives the fact that you should enjoy a healthy sexual life POST marraige. Maybe you need some arabic classes.

      • Mahmud says:

        As usual? What, you mean you know me or something? Wow, I’ve got a history with someone I don’t even know…..cool

        I am very well aware that ayah is referring to sexual intercourse of any position. The point is the Allah still calls women men’s harth no? So what is the problem with the diamond analogy?????

      • Mahmud says:

        Yeah, but Allah could have said “approach your women however you want” but he said before, “your women are your field so approach your field how you want”

        http://quran.com/2/223

        Or he could have said “approach the tilth of your women any way you want”

        So the context and tafseer of it is known. But harth is still and object. And so are diamonds.

        • Who are you to question the linguistics of how and what Allah writes..you are not GOD, so for your finite mindset to think like that is null.

          that is saying, why are electrons called electrons? Why is fiber called fiber? Its simply how it is.

      • Mahmud says:

        “Who are you to question the linguistics of how and what Allah writes..you are not GOD, so for your finite mindset to think like that is null.”

        I’m not anyone to question the linguistics of how and what Allah writes and I am not God and I didn’t-you intentionally or unintentionally sidetracked the conversation to that. If you are unable to answer the question, just admit it. Don’t stoop to something like this. It’s unbecoming.

    • Mahmud says:

      Your failing to comprehend my post or you are intentionally not reading what I am saying. I’m not questioning Allah aza wa jal in the slightest. I’m questioning Salafi Feminists objection to comparing women to diamonds. She says it’s saying women are objects.

      Well, Allah calls women harth. So what is wrong with comparing women to diamonds?

      By your reasoning I might as well ask you why you think the sky is green. You don’t, but that’s precisely the way you are speaking to me.

    • JJ says:

      I definitely agree that the double standard of Muslim women actually wanting their husband to have saved themselves for marriage is irritating. I’ve got my own goals and objectives before getting married, so I’ve got plenty of time to wait for someone who actually waited as well (who is also intelligent, progressive, etc.). I don’t think that’s too much to ask, but it’s disturbing to watch or hear of people who have not waited themselves, but want a spouse who has. Of course, that’s the couple’s business if they accept that past, but I certainly will not if that situation arises.

  2. Kinza says:

    Some Muslim women are okay with sleeping around and make that choice out of their own accord. I surmise that they are aware of their worth and choose to have one-night stands.

    • Mahmud says:

      People have different worth based on their taqwa. Some have gone to such an extreme they are disbelievers and will never come out of the fire. Others will eventually come out of the fire. Others yet enter Paradise on yawm al Qiyamah without even touching the fire.

      • I think we need to truly grasp the fact that if someone does a sincere tawbah regarding this, then that is completely okay.

        What I have experienced that the change is lacking. These same men/women indulge in these habits and they have no remorse for it, which irks me. But I guess that is just me.

      • Mahmud says:

        People can do tauba but the opposite gender will still have preferences for people without pasts(well, at least men.) Obviously returning to Allah aza wa jal is never wrong.

        “What I have experienced that the change is lacking. These same men/women indulge in these habits and they have no remorse for it, which irks me. But I guess that is just me.”

        It is right to hate that because this is a type of good anger. Whenever we see something wrong, we definitely should dislike it just like whenever we see something right we should like it.

  3. Mahmud says:

    Assalamualaikum

    Pretty interesting.

    I agree. Stay chaste, Anyone can repent, and Allah forgives whoever he wills. I am only seeking a virgin girl and there is nothing wrong with that of course.

  4. arablit101 says:

    I was kinda confused as to how the title ties in with the rest of the article. Nonetheless, I think the brother has brought up an interesting issue. Call me sheltered, but I also grew up in a very conservative/religious home and was shocked (understatement) to learn that Muslims (men and women) can flaunt being engaged in the blatantly haraam– without embarrassment. We are all human and give in to our physical, spiritual, or psychological weaknesses. If I didn’t have the upbringing and Islamic awareness that I have, I am very conscious of the fact that I could have been a very different person. Remaining chaste before marriage is incontestable in terms of the position of Islam on the issue. At the same time what a person has done in the past is no one’s business but Allah’s. I don’t think a male or a female has the right to ask a potential spouse about their chastity. Allah forgives all sins besides shirk and so long as we live the doors of repentance are open, so who are we to pass judgement.

    • Mahmud says:

      You are correct. I am reminded of a very old movie I watched t.v. called Umrao Jaan. It was on television and I was quite young. Somewhere near the end or afterwards I found out that the prostitute was a Muslim and that the characters of that whole brothel were also Muslim…………..woa!!!

      But on a positive note-there are narrations of children of Adam alayhisalam coming before Allah aza wa jal with sin after sin. But since they at least escaped the crime of dying disbelievers, they are eligible for forgiveness. And Allah aza wa jal then grants them immeasurable forgiveness……

      Finally there is the narration of the Muslim prostitute of Bani Israel who took out her shoe and ended up feeding water to a dog. On account of this act of compassion she entered Jannah despite the fact that she majorly sinned.

      So in a society of disbelievers, the local Muslimah prostitute is the most pious.

      And in a society of arrogant Muslims, she also is the most pious!!!

      You are also correct about asking about a spouse’s past. I would never, ever ask a girl I wanted to marry if she committed zina or not.

      But I WOULD took steps to make sure a marriage didn’t take place. I would say something like “I’ve never been in a relationship before and it’s really important to me that I meet someone who also wasn’t in a relationship before” so if she did some kind of illicit thing, once she hears this she will refrain from marrying me. That way she can call off the proposal and refrain from marrying me when she knows I am only seeking a virgin.

      Problem solved! Nobody should ask about a potential but there are still ways of seeking a chaste virgin Muslimah in this world.

  5. Alan Howard says:

    I find this article very judgmental in a negative way. People are responsible for themselves, period. People are accountable to God, period. Whom a person is intimate with is their own business and between them and the other person. If the act they engage in is outside of marriage then that act is again their responsibility and they can ask for forgiveness or not ask for it. Allah (SWT) has given us freewill and how we use it is part and parcel of our humanity.

    I also agree with the “The Salafi Feminist” that this article is reductionist in several ways. By judging all men and women who are less chaste then the writer, and by objectifying women. I honestly believe the author has his heart in the right place and we all do crave affection and love and a long-term beautiful relationship, but sometimes even when we enter into that space with that intention it does not work out that way. Again, how that is viewed or judged is between that person and their own soul. Intention is everything, and since we cannot see intention then we should not judge lest we be judged in their stead.

    • Truth teller says:

      I agree. I had SO many issues with this piece it’s unbelievable. This guy clearly has no understanding of women or relationships. This idea of honor he talks about makes me shake my head. So if you’re a shitty husband you’re still treating her in an honorable way just because you married her? Shoot, I’d rather have 2 years of a fulfilling unmarried relationship than 50 years of an abusive hellish married one. Also, the preoccupation with women’s chastity seems like a massive masculinity crisis by male insecurities. Likewise, not every guy that has pre marital sex is being a player. Certainly not in cultures where it is not taboo. Not every Muslim is desi dude. And not every woman who does it is “being taken advantage of.” Women are adults with brains and choice, with agency and free will. As for what is Islamicly appropriate or not, that’s for Allah to sort out. There are a million hell fire worthy things going on in the Muslim community yet everyone’s focus is always policing sex and women’s vaginas. I can imagine a man who “keeps it halal” but goes on to terrorize and abuse the hell out of his wife and kids for the next 50 years is also potentially hell fire bound.

      • Mahmud says:

        Yes it’s for Allah to sort it out whether it is acceptable or not and Allah aza wa jal already passed a verdict that these haram relationships are entirely unnaceptable and a disgusting sin.

        Seeking a chaste virgin wife doesn’t mean one is insecure. It’s a natural desire and Allah even promises people chaste virgins mates in Jannah in the Quran………

        The consensus of the Ulema and by that, the Ummah is that whoever fails to acknowledge zina as haram is himself a disbeliever.

        Please stay cautious of saying things that will harm you in the end.

        One wrong, a man terrorizing his wife and kids (a severe wrong at that) doesn’t justify another shameless deed. Pre-marital sex is a huge sin in Islam mentioned right after murder in the Quran. It is a big deal because it is something that destroys society.

        Finally, it seems you entirely imagined the horrible husband example. None of that was mentioned in this article. If you have so little to refute that you will actually imagine some points the author made(and he didn’t-you imagined them) and then refute them, you have problems far greater than some Muslims thinking too much about pre-marital sex.

    • No one is judging here, this is merely a personal opinion. If someone with a bad past makes a sincere tawbah, then repentance is to Allah SWT. But you cannot argue the fact that sex without love is something that should not be promoted, which is what the article clearly depicts.

      • Truth teller says:

        @Mahmud, you clearly missed the point of my comments entirely or failed to understand them. Pointing out insecurity, patriarchy, or simply someone’s poor understanding of women and relationships does not mean I am advocating for the haraam to become halal. Obviously the examples I gave were meant to illustrate a point. And far from being imaginary, I draw them from the real life experiences of women I have had the pleasure of knowing and hearing from about their toils in life. I would be careful to imply who is or is not a disbeliever, for when someone makes such a serious and false accusation at someone it is possible the disbeliever is in fact the one falsely accusing the other. I need not be reminded of “needing to be cautious” about anything. Wouldn’t it be wonderful for somr if women always shut their mouths especially when it concerns their lives, choices, and bodies. I actually do agree that men like this should seek virgin wives because it will save other women some misery and the burden of being with someone who reduces a woman’s worth as a spouse and companion down to virginity, however that is even being defined. My point about honor is that marrying a woman alone does not guarantee one is honoring her. Signing a contract is one small step followed by a lifetime of behavior that could honor or dishonor her. A man should learn how to truly honor a woman before he judges whether another man is honoring or dishonor in her…this language in itself is disturbing actually because it again assumes the woman is without choice, or agency to choose what she wants be it halal or not.

      • Mahmud says:

        Truth teller-you still imagined some stuff and attributed it to the article. I don’t think the author in any way defends abusive husbands.

        And while marrying a women may not be honoring her, having a one night stand is CERTAINLY dishonoring her. The man is dishonoring her and himself and she is dishonoring herself by engaging in the heinous sin.

        Now it’s true, no human can truly dishonor another human by harming him. If I spit in someone’s face, that person did not decrease in honor in the slightest but I did. If I influence him/her to some error, that person is responsible and so am I and so we’ve in that case both dishonored each other and ourselves.

        However zina is a two way street(most of the time) and yes, both parties with their will are engaging in a shameless act which is harmful in this life and in the next. The are dishonoring themselves and they are each dishonoring each other.

        In any case, that’s what I think is the best way to interpret the article. Bringing your own issues into it is pointless and futile. I might as well rage about men’s rights(which matter-everyones rights matter) on an article about women being abused. It’s entirely a waste. Women’s rights are what’s being discusses so I would stick to the subject.

        And seeking a virgin girl doesn’t mean one is reducing her worth to just that. It’s merely a natural desire among a list of desires. Women like a succesful man-are women reducing men to just their success and wealth? Both men and women like their spouses to be attractive. In fact, minimal attraction is necessary for a marriage to take place in the first place……unless both are asexual. So is a man or a woman reducing their potential spouse to merely their attractiveness if that is a requirement???

        Finally, believers are promised chaste virgin Hoor al Ayn in Jannah by Allah aza wa jal in the very Quran……..so is desiring chastity and virginity actually to be condemned? Of course not!!!

        These are but natural desires and their can be no condemnation for even sinful desires let alone halal and good desires!!!

        As for disbelieving, well we have a consensus on this point-failing to accept the obligation of Salah or failing to accept that zina is haram is flat out kufr. This deen is not a free for all. It encompasses a surprising amount of deviants but the line is drawn somewhere. Istihlal is one of those lines.

        I have no problem praying next to a fellow Muslim who got himself into a bit of trouble, is drunk, just came out of a brothel without ghusl, and drunkenly managed to shove some money he earned from riba/theft into the sadaqa box. I’ve got no problem returning his drunken salams at the end of the prayer or driving him home since the fellow obviously wouldn’t be able to drive.

        However the moment he says “it’s ok to do zina/riba/wine/etc.” while he is sober, he is a disbeliever. He’s set himself up as a legislator besides Allah aza wa jal and at this point he entered disbelief. There is nothing I can do about that except advise him and make dua for him. I don’t have any choice in the matter.

        Salam

  6. Get some self-awareness says:

    This is classic “Nice Guy” syndrome (look it up for more detail but essentially it is this mentality: i am being such a good guy but the jerks always seems to get the girls; i can’t believe how girls can’t see how great i am!”) – he literally wrote these things that directly correlate to Nice Guy syndrome. (e.g. “I began to detest some of my male friends who indulged in this practice of sleeping around. …. I felt that being pious and chaste should be an incentive and an attraction to women. To realize that some women were able to throw their chastity away so easily without being wooed romantically (and in a dignified way) devastated me.”)

    As I read, I kept waiting for the author’s big realization, the turning point, the learning moment to come, and it seemed like it did with this sentence: “At some point, I realized I needed to get out more, expose my feelings, and take pride in my lifestyle choices as a committed Muslim.” but then the author turns back and goes into an epilogue about how WOMEN need to value themselves more (implication: stop sleeping around with jerks, and start marrying nice guys like me!)

    The author needs to realize that women can make choices about their lives, including their sexuality, based on their own will, their own morals, their own application of Islam or faith in their lives (or lack thereof). and the author needs to make his own choices without the expectation that being good will lead to some romantic story ending for him. Be chaste for Allah, be chaste for yourself, be “good” for yourself. Don’t do it b/c you hope it’ll mean you can find someone to “tango” with.

    • No this is not a nice guy syndrome. This is merely to raise awareness for Muslimas who have been pressured or feel that to prove their love, they need to indulge in sexual awareness. And yes that is exactly the point, because good sex is after marriage at all. Ofcourse I think that men that can offer more than sex should get our women, it is common sense. It is sad you have lost your morals.

      To each to their own bud. But I am sure next time someone wants to use your body just for sex even as a man, you will feel ‘gratified.’

    • Truth teller says:

      I complete agree with am. Spot on. Nice guy syndrome – yes. I’ve seen too much of this. It just makes me roll my eyes and want to tell the dude to get a grip

      • Mahmud says:

        Saddens me that Muslims have followed the ways of nonbelievers and this type of discussion has entered our conversations and these words have entered our lexicon. What happened to the discussion among Muslims about seeking marriage? Have we been reduced to the shallow ways of seeking companionship like dating and pre-marital sex?

  7. Chicana Muslimah says:

    Assalamu alaykum! I would like to sincerely commend you for voicing your story and opinion. You raised thoughtful and important points, and addressed them very productively and critically. Also, it appears that you have created quite a stir from this post… which, again, I commend you for. Always let your voice be heard. May Allah reward you and bless you always, my brother. Ameen.

  8. An observation – this is the second time that a man has written for Love, Inshallah, discussing his personal preference for a chaste/ virgin woman because HE was a virgin as well… and then attacked for it.

    I find it worrisome that we will praise men and women who have had ‘pasts’ and discuss it with candour and honesty, but then turn around and attack those men and women (but mostly men) who have NOT had pasts, and accuse them of “Nice Guy syndrome” or being judgmental or arrogant or what have you.

    Is it really so bad for a Muslim – man or woman – who has kept themselves chaste, to want someone who is chaste? (As long as they are NOT belittling the worth of those who *have* had pasts.)

    • Mahmud says:

      Thumbs up a thousand times over for this comment. There is absolutely nothing wrong with it. It’s an entirely natural desire. I want someone who kept themselves chaste. Actually, it’s a pretty natural desire for men all around the world. I don’t get where the nice guy syndrome is in play for me-I’m nice for Allah’s sake.

      As for those who have had pasts, Allah aza wa jal knows their case. Someone could commit zina and repent reach the highest level of Jannah. Another could be chaste but is arrogant and he is deprived of Jannah.

      The fact of the matter remains, people, guys especially(or at least we voice this more loudly) aren’t interested in girls with pasts. So? It’s a preference. And here’s the funny thing-if a guy wasn’t chaste and he was seeking a chaste virgin girl he would be hounded upon!!! Therefore these fellows have no right whatsoever to hound a guy who is chaste+virgin and seeking a chaste virgin girl!!! You can’t have it two ways!!!

    • Get some self-awareness says:

      but he IS doing that — this author has received a few critical comments because he IS belittling the worth of those who have had pasts. he is not writing only about his wish for a chaste girl to match his own chastity; he is writing about how he was angry that non-chaste guys were able to “get” girls who he thinks should have remained chaste because they are muslim.
      in fact, i can’t even write “was” because he did not acknowledge a change in his feelings. he IS still upset that the playa men got the girls that he felt he should have been able to get.

      the message of this writeup is “why didn’t the muslim girls go after a chaste guy like me? they are throwing away their own worth by getting with these other guys.”— not “i simply want to find a girl who is chaste like me.”

      • Im not belittling the fact of the people that have the past. I am merely stating that this is response to those who continue to do without any remorse. Their past is between them and Allah.

        And yes, I am humble enough to know my worth and wise enough to understand it.

      • Mahmud says:

        Well, the way I look at it is if a girl is willing to get seduced by a player, I certainly have lost all interest in her. There are plenty of traditional young women back home who do not engage in these behaviors and that’s what I aim for and I advise him towards the same.

        Every time I go to school and see people engaged in these behaviors I lose interest in the girls(obviously because I’m a guy) and if I was a girl hopefully I would have the same stance. We should seek people who lower their gaze and preserve what Allah aza wa jal would have them preserve. True relationships sanctioned by Allah aza wa jal are far better than cursed ones which bring misery in this dunya and the next.

        I’ve learnt about nice guy syndrome from this blog and it appears to be an actual thing. I recently checked out the crazy manifesto of the UC Santa Barbara killer and man…….that guy’s issue was that he may his vain desire the thing he enslaved himself to and it destroyed him. He was so filled with rage and envy I just couldn’t understand how he kept it going for so long……..

        So what we seek is the greatest issue or one of the greatest issues that affect us.

      • Would you have the same reaction to Muslim women who get upset at Muslim men who sleep around? Would you have the same reaction to Muslim women who write off “players” because they’re obviously belittling women’s self worth (as well as their own)?

        Because I can tell you that I, personally, lose a great deal of respect for Muslim men who sleep around, and I do consider them to be lacking in self-respect and respect for those whom they’re fooling around with. Not just from a ‘religious’ perspective, but from a socio/psychological one – promiscuity is often linked to deeper personal issues.
        Again tho, my feelings of distaste are limited to those men who have *not* repented of their behaviour (and attitudes). Those who *have* made a concious decision to change their lives around, and done tawbah for their previous actions, are a different story altogether.

        (And in fact, this very blog has had posts written by women about the ‘players’)

        I’m against double standards of all sorts – for men and for women. Let’s be consistent, please.

      • Mahmud says:

        “Would you have the same reaction to Muslim women who get upset at Muslim men who sleep around? Would you have the same reaction to Muslim women who write off “players” because they’re obviously belittling women’s self worth (as well as their own)?”

        I don’t understand….is this addressed to me? In any case, fyi, I don’t have a problem if women get upset at Muslim men who sleep around or block them out for marriage. That’s natural and there is nothing wrong with that.

        “Because I can tell you that I, personally, lose a great deal of respect for Muslim men who sleep around, and I do consider them to be lacking in self-respect and respect for those whom they’re fooling around with. Not just from a ‘religious’ perspective, but from a socio/psychological one – promiscuity is often linked to deeper personal issues.”

        Indeed it is a great sin, may Allah aza wa jal protect us from it.

        “I’m against double standards of all sorts – for men and for women. Let’s be consistent, please.”

        Precisely

  9. İnci Nazlı says:

    “To be fair, it wasn’t just about women. The chichoras not only got sex, but many ended up happily married in spite of their past …… Why would a guy be rewarded in the end with a good marriage after being a playa?”

    I keep asking this to myself too! This also applies to female counterparts of such men. Don’t get me wrong, I have nothing against any human being having a happy marriage just because of their past, but come one, why cannot so many good women and men have this too?:-/

    • Texican says:

      “I have nothing against any human being having a happy marriage just because of their past, but come one, why cannot so many good women and men have this too?”

      FYI…you can have a “past” and still be a good person. Virginity does not equate to goodness. It only equates to not having had sex yet.

      If one chooses to be celibate until marriage because they feel that it pleases our Lord, then wonderful. But they aren’t better than anyone else. They aren’t entitled to anything.

      • Mahmud says:

        As a rule, all things else the same, a person who saved him/herself before marriage is better than one who sinned. It’s only fair. Even the Quran distinguishes goodly men and goodly women from filthy men and filthy women. It’s in a Chapter which talks a lot about zina.

        If you are a Muslim you will recognize zina for the sin it is.