I am a Muslim Woman and I Chose to Have an Abortion

Muslim-woman-praying
I am a Muslim woman and I chose to have an abortion. There are a few things you should know about me: I consider my religion to be the defining aspect of my life; I am an active member of my community, particularly in the area of women’s education and empowerment; and, I am a wife and mother who is nursing her baby while pursuing a post-graduate degree. I also do plan on having more children in the future, God willing.

I also want to make clear that I do not promote abortion as means of routine contraception, particularly in a world rife with sexual promiscuity, but I do believe that under certain circumstances, Islam does and should permit it. I have chosen to write anonymously about this experience in order to respect my family’s privacy, but I am prepared to deal with the potentially harsh criticism and judgment a writer inevitably opens herself up to when publishing a deeply personal story on a hotly debated issue. I am laying bare my story for one purpose: to offer up some benefit and insight to other women and couples who have been through an abortion or are considering one.

I accidently became pregnant at a time when another baby would be very difficult. Physically and emotionally I was not ready for another pregnancy. I vacillated for days over the decision to terminate the pregnancy. As a student, I had studied fiqh (Islamic legal rulings) on women’s bodies, but at the time I had been a neutral spectator, never imagining that I would one day find myself agonizing over the ethical and spiritual dimensions of those rulings, written by men, centuries before.

Add to that the fact that I consider myself pro-choice when it comes to the female body – to an extent. That extent is determined by the Divine Hand which guides us as human beings, but allows us to make choices, a faculty which we alone as children of Adam have been given.

As a pro-choice and deeply religious Muslim, the potential decision to terminate a pregnancy was doubly difficult for me. I researched every aspect of abortion, from medical and health perspectives to the views of different Islamic schools of thought. I even poured over the diverse standpoints of other religions, peering at the issue from both feminist and traditional lenses. Wrestling with this monumental decision forced me to closely reflect on the convictions I profess to stand for. I realized that despite years of study and work in women’s rights, my early socialization in a conservative community, in which the female body and sexuality were controlled, negated and commoditized, was still embedded in my sub-consciousness.

In beginning to consider an abortion, I looked first to the law. Islamic law makes allowances for abortion up to 16 weeks into the pregnancy (and beyond that when the mother’s life is at risk).

The Prophet Muhammad (pbuh) said:

“Verily, each of you is gathered together in his mother’s womb for forty days, in the form of a drop of fluid. Then it is a clinging object for a similar period. Thereafter, it is a lump looking like it has been chewed for a similar period. The angel is then sent to [the fetus] and breathes into [the fetus] the spirit.” (Hadith 6390, Book 33, Muslim)

Based on this hadith, the classical scholars theorized that ensoulment occurs between three to four months in-utero, and built their rulings of abortion on this time frame. The views of the different schools of thought differ considerably about when and why abortion is permissible, from the outright prohibited to the neutrally permissible. I was raised in the most liberal of the schools, the Hanafi, which allows abortion at any time before 120 days after conception, with some scholars even ruling that it can be performed without a specific reason or the permission of the pregnant woman’s husband, while other jurists require a reasonable justification. Marion Holmes Katz analyzed where the four Sunni legal schools stood on abortion in the book, “Islamic Ethics of Life: Abortion, War and Euthanasia,” noting that a basic feature of Islamic legal discussions on abortion is “their high level of tolerance for ambiguity and complexity, which avoids absolutist simplifications of the intricate moral issues raised by fetal life.”

My preliminary research reassured me that at six weeks pregnant, I was clearly far from the stage of ensoulment by the standards of classical Muslim jurists. Being in a devoted, monogamous marriage, having undergone miscarriage, pregnancy and childbirth before, I certainly was not capriciously choosing abortion as a means of contraception. Renowned Professor Tariq Ramadan’s book, “Radical Reform” confirmed my feeling that the excessive use of abortion in the modern world is harmful, but that it should be allowed under certain circumstances. Ramadan gave an example which described my situation perfectly. “In cases of involuntary or accidental pregnancies, especially when the family situation or the social context could prevent the family’s and/or the child’s fulfillment in life, [abortion should be permissible] …the procedure is never commendable, but the intervention can be considered when protecting a person’s [the mother’s] health, development, autonomy, welfare, education or dignity.”

After perusing all the scholarly material addressing the topic of abortion that I could find, and finding that options to terminate a pregnancy before 120 days into the pregnancy were well grounded in the Islamic tradition, I felt nearly ready to take my decision. The texts alone were not enough to give me the conviction I needed, I had to seek support and advice from the people closest to me.

I had not planned to become pregnant; in fact, I was using contraception at the time. I was working to complete my graduate studies, all the while juggling the demands of motherhood, which included breastfeeding and pacing the floors two-thirds of the night with my baby. In addition to that, I had committed to a spiritual learning process with my Shaykh in working toward Ijazah (licence) in the classical Islamic texts, and another pregnancy would have set this endeavor back by years.

When my husband and I began to discuss this monumental decision, he jolted me to self-realization by pointing out something I had not considered. He believed that deciding for termination, in my case, was actually the more difficult decision, struggle or jihad as he put it, because ending my pregnancy would mean reversing years of social conditioning which I had so long fought against. So, together, we came to the agonizing decision to terminate a six-week pregnancy. I could not have made this decision without my husband by my side, supportive and compassionate every step of the way, giving me courage, and caring, as he always does, for our children while I recovered. We unfortunately still live in a largely patriarchal world, but I am encouraged by men such as him, who challenge day after day the chauvinism and sexism which seek to control women’s lives and bodies.

While I am in a fortunate position to have the presence of people of both intellect and spirit in my life, who dealt with my questions with compassionate wisdom, there are so many Muslim women who do not have this luxury and I was alarmed at the lack of support, both in the virtual and corporeal Muslim communities. Fatawas (non-binding religious decrees) and articles abound on the internet, warning Muslims of the complete prohibition of abortion in Islam, conveniently leaving out hundreds of years of intellectual endeavor, which gave women choices, even if some were only circumstantial.

Feeling disheartened, I turned to two people for whom I have profound respect and love. The first is a professor of Islamic Studies, whose work informs much of my own gender sensitivities; I confronted her with my dilemma, and after a thoughtful pause, she replied, “Whatever emerges as your and your husband’s joint decision, [if] you have both made [it] with a sincere, prayerful and surrendered intention, [it] will be best. Keep in your heart’s eye that surrender to Allah is not always conforming to either established notions or even your own intellectual notions.” So I took down some walls and opened up space in my mind and heart to welcome whatever Allah wanted to communicate to me through this experience. Perhaps this trial, like most, was an opportunity to grapple with receiving the wisdom that will come through the very process of grappling. My professor’s words propelled me into deep introspection about my relationship with God, and gave me much needed succor in my heart to trust in the decision I would make.

The second person who I looked to for advice is someone for whom to ascribe the title “scholar” or “Shaykh” to is an injustice, for the depth and breadth of his knowledge and spirit encompass much more. His presence in my life has been that of divine light. I confessed to him the reasons for considering a termination shortly before the procedure. I had not realized the disquietude in my soul over this decision until he comforted me and I felt the anxiety leaving my spirit. I realized then that I had been missing true conviction in my decision, that “shar’an” (religiously) as he termed it, using decades of legal expertise in his matter-of-fact-way, I was making the right decision and it was pragmatic to do so. My beloved Shaykh reassured me that I was bold to take this difficult decision and would realize that it was indeed providential.

The women who run the discreet clinic I visited gave me startling insight into the world of Muslims and abortion, when they realized my hijab-clad self was not the type of Muslim they had encountered before – telling sordid tales of guilt-stricken and frightened women who sneak in to see them, of men who demand abortions for their wives at the 16 week cut-off time based on the gender of the baby. In a state of “conscious sedation,” in the oddest of settings, I found myself as usual having to explain and defend my religion. The two doctors who attended to me were wonderful women – and while I do not agree with all their views on sex and sexuality, their concern, kindness and empathy touched me to the core of my being. I realized that being pro-choice does not make one anti-life as those who are against abortion would have us believe.

The abortion itself was relatively painless, with only minor cramping, discomfort and bleeding. My thoughts were with those women who do not have access to safe, medically sound contraception and pregnancy termination options, forced to resort to untrained practitioners who use dangerous herbs, chemicals and instruments to induce abortion, risking their patients’ lives, health and future fertility in the process. My heart-to-hearts with my two learned mentors confirmed what my earlier research had shown—that in delicate situations like these, there are no clear-cut, black and white answers. The choices we make are the ones which God allows us to make when we search deep within ourselves.

It is essential in the current milieu of medical advancement and recognition of the importance of the psychological wellbeing of women to the family and society, for Muslims to look back into the classical legacy. We must work with the allowances which the jurists saw fit to dispense, rather than coercing women with guilt to resign themselves to accidental pregnancies, when in fact, our scholarly legacy is much more complex and pluralistic than a simple halal/haram declaration on the issue. To move beyond this kind of thinking, scholars and health practitioners as well as concerned women and men need to work together in promoting better understandings of the gendered dimension of biomedical ethics and Islam.

The process of ending a pregnancy is just that – a process. Post-abortion recovery is as important, particularly in coming to terms with the decision on the emotional and spiritual planes of being. I am comforted by knowing that I have a most-Compassionate, Loving God to turn to, a God whose love is described as more than a mother’s love for her children. As a mother myself, I am in awe of the intensity of such love and my inner-being is replenished, allowing me to be at peace with myself and my decisions. I remain perpetually in the shade of Allah’s mercy, accountable to Him alone for my actions.

Iman Ahmed is a lecturer and post-graduate candidate in Religious Studies, a mother of two little girls, and a writer and community activist.

This essay was originally published at altmuslimah.com


32 Comments on “I am a Muslim Woman and I Chose to Have an Abortion”

  1. Thank you for writing this.

    • Iman says:

      Thank you for reading with an open mind and open heart.

      • Zeenat Khan says:

        Iman …thank you for writing this . I’ve been thru an experience exactly like this two years ago …read everything on the subject islamically etc but I still keep going back to this horrific decision …it haunts me from time to time.
        I had the procedure at 12 weeks coz I was unable to get medical attention before this time . I have two children already…and I had them within exactly 12months of each other ….as you can imagine its tough with a 1yr old and a 2yr old to have one more. The decision was taken by both my husband and me together ….but there were plenty of times within those 12weeks that I went to and fro on my decision ….on the way to board my flight to have the procedure…I kept praying to Allah that I would be guided to make the right choice ….I missed my flight…honestly and with complete consciencness to get to the plane I actually missed my flight . I thought this was Allahs way of telling me ….yet when I got back home ..I got scared at how I would manage a third baby and I took the next available flight and had the procedure .
        I was distraught after …I get over it and then it comes back again….my husband is very supportive but I guess as a mother it’s a physical and an emotional attachment and thus a little more compelling ….I see my two children …and keep feeling what would the third have been like….
        I know you can’t really make my pain go away and you can’t tell me how much of a sin this may be in the eyes of Allah …but by sharing your experience and the Islamic knowledge on this subject you have made it a tad easier to deal with.

        May Allah tala protect us and forgive us our sins May Allah tala not put us in these excruciating delimas .
        If there is anything else that you can think of saying that might help ….please do
        Thank you
        Deep Grieving

  2. Reblogged this on pengantin pelik and commented:
    Coincidentally, this appeared on my WordPress Reader today, just a day after I reblogged ‘an alternative view on abortion, or, a woman’s right to have one’ . So here’s an alternative Muslim view, from a Muslim woman who has had one done.

    Something to think about: Any man in the same familial, social, academic and professional position as this woman would not have to grapple with such a difficult decision and the pressure of societal aftermath, simply because he cannot get pregnant and cannot breastfeed. He is perceived as his own person, and rarely in relation to other people (as opposed to a woman who is often seen as someone’s daughter, wife or mother). A man hardly has to think: should I or should I not become a father to yet another child, considering that it would set back my academic and professional pursuit by a number of years?

    • Iman says:

      dear pengantinpelik

      You have brought up a very very important aspect of the discussion which many of us forget! How does abortion and discussions on abortion impact and portray men … for involved fathers and co-parenting couples (like us), it impacts the fathers life almost as much as the mother (he doesn’t experience the pregnancy symptoms and the physical abortion though), but there is definitely anguish in coming to the decision, having to emotionally and physically support his wife before, during and after the procedure and also deal with his own feelings and emotions … my husband dealt with it so well, he was so strong throughout, whilst we came to the decision together, we both knew that ultimately I would have had the final decision had we disagreed … that is the fundamental respect for womens bodily autonomy.
      true in the patriarchal family, the only thing a man may feel is the strain on his wallet with another baby.

  3. leahmed says:

    Subhan’Allah. So eloquent and articulate. I am so deeply apologetic to any and all who have ever and will ever condemn you for the choice you have made, particularly knowing the process you endured to make it. Thank you.

    • Iman says:

      Dear Leahmed

      Thank you for compassion, please don’t be apologetic about the actions and words of others, your empathy and understanding is all I could ask for.

  4. anon says:

    depending on the school of sharia—different jurists have different ideas of when the soul enters the fetus thus making it “human”(from 40 days to 120 days)—but it is not at conception—-and this misunderstanding must be dispelled for the sake of all women. It is a Christian idea that that the cells are “human” at conception…..we must go back to OUR intellectual traditions.

    • Iman says:

      Dear Anon

      thanks for reinforcing what I hoped to convey in the article.
      I wouldn’t like to set myself up as directly opposed to Christian ethics, as there is even diversity there (for eg, some Christians agree/d with the idea of life beginning at “quickening”, which is what Muslims call “ensoulment”), but I agree that it is important to go back to our own traditions, that is imperative, thank you for your understanding.

      • Junaki says:

        I agree with everything you say. Abortion is not easy decision to make. However, sometimes we have to choose our happiness and future and not let a mistake have a ever lasting effect on us. I had not chosen abortion due to work or studies, I just wouldn’t have been able to cope with another pregnancy while I had twins age 3. My muslim husband was also out of control hanging out with his friends and not helping out. I then realised he was a serial womaniser and adulterer. At age 37 now, I never regret it. I just wished I put something in place sooner despite warning my husband he should use another method which he didn’t bother to. We women are not the only ones to blame. husbands should equally be responsible for getting us pregnant and not using other things. Makes me angry when our life and bodies are not under our own control. Please don’t listen to these people who go on about sin. I bet they themselves committed many sins in other forms. We learn from our mistakes. Look at poor countries where they can barely feed one yet they continue to have ten children. All in the notion that god will provide and he never does. The white man then comes and hands out aid. They should be handed out contraceptions not food and make them self sufficient, not think god will always come to their rescue. Is that why so many Muslims want to live in the west. They can raise their ten children on welfare than their own shit hole land. Muslim women get raped girls get sexually abused and no one wants to marry them another form of women suffering under Islamic rules and cultural rules. Don’t say these things are not to do with Islam. Culture is always deeply embedded in religion.

  5. Thank you to our readers for keeping the conversation civil and compassionate. It’s what the Love InshAllah community is known for and we deeply appreciate your commitment to dialogue, especially on difficult & divisive issues. Peace & love to you all & have a wonderful weekend!

  6. Levannah says:

    Salaam sister. I may not know why you the reason why you choose this way, but anything you choose…you know your situation better than the rest of us, and people who don’t step into your shoes could easily judge or demean. There are many reasons for abortion but it doesn’t mean the one doing it is always anti-life.

    • Iman says:

      Thanks Levannah, pro-choice is definitely not anti-life … thank also for not judging. Best wishes.

  7. anon says:

    The Quran makes it clear the soul is breathed into the fetus at 40days. And scholars say it is permissible before 40days at 120 days that’s murder. Sorry Allah says in Quran do not kill your children in fear of poverty as every soul has its OWN provision. I condemn your act of murder and no excuse will suffice. Unless it affected your health and would cause you death as permitted in Islam. Your excuse was rather pathetic and women like you make me realise how Allah gave a blessing to those who do not deserve it. When i have friends dying to have kids you are dying to kill them. Mabrook. Allah is the best judge all you can do is make tawba and regret your actions and Allah will deal with people like you. Authobillahi…

    • anon says:

      Six weeks is 42 days.

    • Iman says:

      Dear Anon

      I agree with you in that Allah is definitely the best judge .. “Alais Allah bi ahkam al hakimin” …. I pray that all women who have difficulty conceiving be granted children who are the coolness of their eyes, if Allah so wills it.

    • Shocked says:

      I must say, I am truly disgusted after reading this article. I find it so shameful that a person would not only consider but actually go through with an abortion for no other reason but continuing education ?!?! Am I understanding this correctly? That you decided to have this abortion because this pregnancy was unexpected, and because you already had a small breast fed baby and because your hands were full with juggling classes??? You mentioned that it would not be good for your health to go through with the pregnancy, but unless you had some doctor CONFIRM that it would be a life or death matter, then the decision to have an abortion is out right sin.
      Being a mother myself, I cannot even fathom the thought of even considering having an abortion!! If you call yourself a Muslim, you should have enough faith in Allah (swt) that ALLAH (swt) ONLY GIVES YOU WHAT YOU CAN HANDLE, and that Allah will never burden you with something that is not possible for you to handle. You should have faith that if Allah is bringing a new soul into your life then he will also provide the means with which you will nourish and care for the new soul.

      Allah knows best.

      I only pray that this article doesn’t encourage any other Muslim women to follow in your footsteps.

      • N says:

        Salaam,

        Dear commenter,
        You took the words out of my mouth! I agree with you!!!!

        Dear Sister who wrote this article,
        Abortion is a great sin unless its confirmed by the doctor that the pregnancy is life threatening! Check your emaan! Trust Allah that he can make anything easy for you, and he will provide for you! Do not try to plan better then He does! Allah is the best of planners. Damage is done now, you can not turn it back. I pray for you to realize your mistake and make tawba.

        Dear others,
        Dont make decisions about your actions and their correctness according to “people” who “look” “deeply religious” and “educated”, or studies written by ppl who are not reliable or non muslims. Start with the Quran and the Sunnah of Our Nabi peace be upon him, and if you cant find the answers, you can continue the chain of command (hadiths, fatwas) Do not skip the Quran and the authentic Sunnah!!!! Believe me, all the answers for the major issues are covered in them. That the beauty of our faith! its complete! Subhan Allah!!!

    • Concerned says:

      Anon, I completely agree with your post. I couldn’t have said it better.

      I would like to now address the author of this article and add that I am truly disgusted after reading this article. I find it so shameful that a person would not only consider but actually go through With an abortion for no other reason then continuing education?!?!
      Am I understanding this correctly? Please correct me if im wrong, That you decided to have this abortion because this pregnancy was unexpected, And because you already had a small breast-fed baby and because your hands were full with juggling classes??

      You mentioned that it would not be good for your health to go through with the pregnancy, however, you failed to mention a doctor confirmation regarding this. Unless you had some doctor confirm that it would be a life or death matter to carry on the pregnancy, then the decision to have an abortion is out right sin.

      If you call yourself a Muslim you should have enough faith in Allah, and that that Allah only gives you what you can handle. Allah Will never burden you with more than you can handle. Allah Is bringing a new soul into your life that he will also provide the means with which you will nourish and care for the new soul.

  8. Saosan. says:

    Dear sister,

    I am in awe of your strength, and greatly impressed by your husband’s compassion. As a practicing and pro-choice woman, I don’t know how I would react if I were in the same situation. But were I, I have no doubt that my soon-to-be husband would be supportive and understanding.

    Thank you for sharing your story.

    • Iman says:

      Dear Saosan

      Thank you for your empathy and understanding. I would really encourage you and your fiance to talk about this before marriage, its not usually the kind of discussions engaged couples have, but I think it is crucial.

  9. Idil Issa says:

    I just wanted to say, you are so brave to have told your story. Especially using your name. So many people would have written this anonymously. While I am not pro-choice, as I think the term is reminiscent of capitalism and the disposable nature of human life, and because I think it is unfair to give men no say in abortion decisions but expect them to bear 50% of the responsibility for the child if it is born, I do support considered and measured use of abortion in certain cases. I hope your story will score a point for common sense! I’m glad you did the right thing for your well-being, rather than endure the pain and suffering, and eventual death of unfortunate women like Ms. Savita of Ireland.

  10. maru says:

    I am still going through the painful process of making a decision of an abortion, as a muslimah, doing research on this topic has become increasingly painful for me as there is so much anger about this topic and so little objective information. Thank you for baring your soul and rationalizing why you did what you did.

  11. Muslimah says:

    Honestly and morally, I find this very wrong. I do admit that I do not know your circumstances but based on what you have stated as ‘reasoning’ for the abortion i.e. continuing graduate studies, infant baby, etc., I do not find these reasons as reason enough to resort to abortion. Ever since I was a kind, I have always hated the idea of abortion. I find it morally contradictory to what I have been instilled as a kid i.e. a Catholic raised person and now a Muslim. I can understand your desire for continuing education but to the extent of killing a baby–abortion is quite unfathomable based on my understanding and beliefs. I am a 3rd year nursing student and is planning to attend medical school. If it happened, i.e. I get pregnant unexpectedly over the course of my last years of nursing or even before or during medical school, I would willingly try and find other ways to postpone my education when I am on my last months of pregnancy or if I am endangering my child. As you may already know the amount of stress that is happening in my life with all my future career plans but I could never for the life of me resort to abortion. However, with those statements of mine against abortion and my lack of understanding to your situation, I could say is that only Allah knows everything and it is only Allah that can judge your actions. If I do ever made you mad or otherwise, please forgive me that is not my intentions. I am only stating my opinions.

  12. Mrs_I says:

    What I honestly can’t understand and fathom is, if continuing your education and other goals were so important to you, and you were “physically and emotionally” not prepared to handle another pregnancy, why on earth did you and your husband not abstain from sex so as to prevent an accidental pregnancy in the first place??!!

    I noticed in your detailed account that is one crucial decision you don’t bother addressing at all and very conveniently leave out – explaining the decision to have sex in the first place (whether with contraception or not) and thereby playing Russian Roulette on the chances of another pregnancy occurring. Why let yourself go down the rabbit-hole of EVER having to consider abortion in the first place??? Is self-control and discipline not in your and your husband’s vocabulary? After all, you two are not immature teenagers experimenting for the very first time. You’ve had sex before, nothing new. There really is no excuse.

    You can’t have it both ways, you know. You can’t call it an “accidental pregnancy” if you PURPOSELY had sex to begin with. The act of having consensual sex is intentional, period. No accidents about it. If you knew, physically and emotionally that you were absolutely not ready for another child, then you should have made sure to have tried ALL means possible to prevent a pregnancy for the months/years you required to finish your education. The surest way to prevent accidental pregnancies? Abstinence. Don’t have friggin’ sex and then rue your “accident” later.

    Was abstinence really that hard for you and your husband, knowing full well you could not handle the consequences of sex (i.e. another possible pregnancy)?

    Instead of “agonizing” over your decision to have an abortion, you could have made the relatively easy and simple choice to completely abstain from sex until you were “physically and emotionally” ready for the consequences of a possible pregnancy, and until your lofty goals of education were complete.

    I see nothing but selfishness and ego in your decision – both your decision to have sex in the first place and recklessly taking chances (whether contraception was used or not; it is never 100% foolproof and you very well know that) and your decision to have an abortion so your studies would not be interfered with and “set you back years” if you went through with the pregnancy.

    I realize I sound quite harsh (and no doubt brutal) in my reply. But I am so angry that another life has been extinguished just because of another “accidental pregnancy” which could have been full well averted if abstinence had been considered in the first place. It is the same damn thing I hear from non-Muslims and their pro-choice reasons. Again, among two educated, mature Muslim parents, there is no excuse.

    • Hajira sher says:

      They’re married and you want them to practice “abstinence”? you must mean contraception :S

      • Mrs_I says:

        Uh, no, I very much mean abstinence, which they are fully capable of – being married or not has nothing to do with whether you can abstain (temporarily) from sex. It’s not like they have to take a vow of celibacy for the rest of their lives – is temporary abstinence such a hardship for the sake of preventing an abortion? I mean, really?!

        And when I say abstinence, I don’t mean ALL sexual activities have to necessarily be off limits – just the one that would most likely lead to pregnancy … i.e. good old-fashioned sexual intercourse.

        If they are really jonesing for each other one night and need the “release” (which of course is a natural need in a relationship or marriage, no denying that), then by all means do anything and everything physically intimate BUT the deed that could lead to pregnancy.

        Is that really so hard to do, as a temporary way to guarantee pregnancy prevention and prevent the decision of ever having to choose to have an abortion? Or must all roads in physical intimacy automatically lead to intercourse and the potential dilemma of an unwanted pregnancy?

    • AJ says:

      Sometimes we have to be ‘cruel’ to be ‘kind’ and i hope many more future abortions will be prevented by the ‘harsh’ and ‘brutal’ arguments you have made Mrs_I.

      Just sharing my thoughts….
      One always has to bear the consequences of one’s actions. Even if all precautions have been taken by a couple to prevent pregnancy and yet the woman/wife still falls pregnant, isn’t that is the will of Allah s.w.t.?
      Do you really know for sure that your child that never gets an opportunity to see the world will really be a burden to you in future?
      Do we know better than Allah s.w.t. what lies ahead of us? We may plan for the future but it is Allah who decides so in anything we do or hope to do, we always seek for His help, guidance and blessings. This child could have been the best thing that could have happened in your life.
      Please study the lessons taught in Surah Khaf about Prophet Moses and Prophet Khidr.
      What is done cannot be undone and as one commentator has said, you can only make sincere tawbaa (repentance) now. Just remember Allah says in the Quran “always seek help through patience and prayers” and “Allah does not burden a person more than he can bear” ~ surah Al Baqarah.

  13. Umm of 4 says:

    Salaams, I’m not criticizing you but mainly just venting for myself & praying you never have to make this choice again. I’ve 4 children, my last is almost 2 yrs and boy was he unexpected! Abortion was never considered, my children are spaced apart 3-4 yrs each which works for us. I just found out I’m pregnant again which is too close, but I am not having an abortion even
    though my husband says he will support that
    decision. I feel we were not careful enough as we were not planning on having more children until 3 or more years. I myself am in school and every time I get pregnant it sets me back physically, emotionally, and with my studies, but I do not believe Allah (awj) will put on me what I am not able to handle. I also do not believe my lord will ask me on the day of Kiyamah why did I not finish my studies. I will definitely be asked about the children’s well being and I do not think an abortion will be acceptable on account of education whether secular or Islamic. Your decision had to be difficult and I pray you do not endure any hardship on account of that decision. I myself know that this may be very difficult for me to choose to have this child, but I do not have your strength. I have valid Islamic reasons to consider abortion as I cannot have nor have I had a vaginal birth, I am over 40, I do not have proper physical, emotional, or spiritual care and support during or after my pregnancies. May Allah (awj) guide us and correct our beliefs.

    • AJ says:

      Masha Allah, i respect you Umm of 4. You’ve nailed it – about what Allah will question you on the day of Kiyamah.

  14. huma hussain says:

    askm. i m a mother of a two year old baby. currently i m pursuing my ph.d from a central university. i m one month pregnant. i want to terminate my pregnancy to continue my study. should i do this? i m a bit confused. although i know having a second baby leave me with the only option to discontinue my study. i dont know my future. how can i be secure? help me.

    • AJ says:

      Dear Huma Hussein,
      All the comments posted on this article are quite varied and show both sides of the argument.
      May Allah swt guide you with the right decision so ‘seek help with patience and prayers’.

Follow

Get every new post delivered to your Inbox.

Join 3,926 other followers