It started with a wink.
My husband David and I met on Match.com when he showed up in my weekly report of new guys on the site matching my preferences. He had an awful profile picture (think: taken with a cell phone camera in a moving car), but I loved everything else about his profile, from the description of himself to what he was looking for in a partner. So, I virtually winked at him. He sent me a message the next day
Fast forward 16 months and I was moving to Chicago as his bride.
It sounds easy enough but my road to the altar was a long and arduous one.
Dear Love InshAllah:
I am a virgin, and I really don’t know what to expect come wedding night. I’m definitely excited (one of the greatest understatements of all-time lol), but I am just so utterly clueless as to what I should do to blow the mind of my wife-to-be!
I’ve never kissed a girl let alone done anything to have had any experience whatsoever in the female-pleasuring department. I have never dated. I don’t watch pornography or anything like that, and I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing so given that it’s haraam. But I am at a total loss as to what I should do once my wife and I are alone.
I promise I’m not a lonely creep who lives in a cave. I just had good parents who raised me religiously since I was young. Promise
I have a great relationship with my parents, but I am too shy to even ask my own friends for advice on this issue let alone people like my mom and dad! So I’d really appreciate it if you could give me like a list of things that I should and/or from the moment we are alone to the “main event” itself. Are there any common things that most girls like? Things that, perhaps, they’d be too shy to mention directly? Also, are there any things I should know not to do or say? Misconceptions about girls and their sexuality, etc.? Any reading material you’d advise?
Clueless about my wedding night
Ms. Sunshine replies:
Our 4th parody Valentine’s Day card!
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The fun continues with our Valentine’s Day parody card #3!
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Born in the 1970s at the tail-end of the women’s lib movement, I was a Gen X girl trying to figure out my role in an era of change and uncertainty.
Girls in the 80s grew up fast. My mom’s lectures regarding my future involved college and career choices, not marriage. All of the girls I knew had boyfriends and little pills. Boyfriends were a cultural norm and very much a part of family nights and holiday dinners. The idea of one true love, romance and the ritual preparation of a woman to transition from virgin to bride slipped away in our modern, egalitarian culture in which overnight prom outings and living with one’s fiancé before marriage were encouraged.
A world away in Pakistan, my future husband and sisters-in-law were experiencing a very different introduction to dating and love. One of my sisters-in law said she “had boyfriends” prior to getting married at the age of 19. Further probing on my part revealed that though a kiss or two may have been exchanged, these relationships were platonic fairy tales enacted through phone calls and letters passed through mutual friends. There weren’t many face-to-face conversations and certainly no open, familial acceptance of the boy in question.