Soulmates

soulmates

The Prophet (pbuh) said: “Souls are like crowds, which gather together. The ones who met before get along well. The ones who did not meet before, cannot get along very well and separate.” (Bukhari, Anbiya, 2; Muslim, Birr, 159; Abu Dawud, Adab, 19).

I believe soulmates exist. Believing in soulmates is equivalent to believing in the existence of Santa Claus or the Tooth Fairy- people scoff and laugh at me. Some even sit me down and try to reason with me. They explain how there is no way that human relationships go beyond the realm of what we know.

But I know otherwise.

We have more than one soulmate. Soulmate does not necessarily mean a romantic partner. Some of us have very open and welcoming souls and therefore make lifelong friends easily but are also easily hurt because our souls are so bare. Some of us are too cynical to see the soul of others- to see past the ugly, sometimes broken, calloused, uninviting exterior- and walk past our soulmates and never know it. Some of us only see what we want to see, shallow bodies walking around, fulfilling only our earthly needs.

I have no memory without my sister, Saira. My earliest memories are all with her. She was there when I first went to school, we cried at being parted for the first time since she was born. I cried when she got her first shots at the hospital. I beat up all the bullies she provoked.

But those things are so small compared to the feeling of peace I get when I am around her. We can talk for hours nurturing each other, or not talk at all and simply find comfort in the presence of one another. Even when we argue, it hurts so much because I feel like I have hurt myself when I hurt her.

It was she who I called and told about my troubled marriage years ago. She who cried for me. It was Saira who knew something was wrong even when I said nothing. When I was far away and all alone, it was her company that I missed. I would pray at night would bring sleep, and sleep would bring dreams of being with Saira. There were times I can swear we met in dreams and conversed about our lives and the latest gossip.

During the day, I would call her and she had the same recollections as me. Our souls were sisters, before it was decided that we would be sisters on earth, as well.   We are connected such that she begins where I end and I start where she stops.

My husband is another soulmate. How else can I explain the instant, deep knowledge I had that my husband and I would marry and have children together the moment he started talking? It wasn’t just that being around him felt warm, welcoming, and safe. But more than that I felt like I had known him forever. My soul had known him before my earth body met his. It was as if I had waited for him my whole life and finally made my way back to him. When we married, it felt natural and like we were simply completing and going through the motions of what our souls had already done eons before.

When my son died, and my husband (who had never before taken care of anyone in his life) held me with such tenderness as I cried and buried my son with pure love and honor, I realized why our souls had connected so deeply and why I had to meet him on earth- because I would need him to pull me up out of the hole of my grief and teach me to love and live again.

I believe that our souls have already been in heaven and visited our son together; we met Ibrahim before he came down to this physical earth- hand in hand, my husband and I. We have always been together, roaming around in space where there is no time or earthly explanation.

I met one of my best friends in my twenties through a mutual friend. When we went out for dinner the first time, I instantly liked her and couldn’t wait to hang out again. We met a few times and eventually went on a trip to New York together. We had the time of our lives. I trusted her even though I hadn’t known her for very long. My soul was comfortable around her, I just didn’t know it until, during the trip, where she never once complained if we had to spontaneously change plans or end up sleeping in the floor of the hotel. She even dealt with my early morning start even though what she wanted to do nothing more than sleep.

On the third day of our four day trip, I received a call from my sister telling me that my uncle passed away and that my mother was devastated and needed me. I got off the phone shaking, crying and unable to function, it was she who booked my plane ticket, packed my bags and put me on a plane back home. Without me having to say a word, she knew what I needed and did it and it has been that way since.

This was years ago but still my soul soars when I see her. Her laugh makes me laugh and her tears hurt my heart. She knows what I am thinking without my having to say it and I know what she wants to say. I have many wonderful friends but somehow this friend fits. She came in to my life later than the rest, but again my soul knows her soul well.

She is the friend I grew old with in heaven, the one I sat on the porch watching sunsets and sipping tea with.  Our souls have aged together even if our earth beings only just met a few years ago.

I have even met people who no matter what I do or how much I try, I can’t seem to like. My soul feels at unease with them. And that is no one’s fault. It is simply that our souls are just not aligned.

Some call me a romantic, others say I’m an idealist, and honestly, I take that label with a smile since there are worse things I could be called. But next time you meet someone, keep your soul open because if what I say is true, you never know when you might meet one of your soulmates!

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This originally appeared at IAmThePoppyFlower. 

Sabina Khan-Ibarrais a freelance writer and editor. She regularly contributes to her blog, Ibrahim’s Tree which she created after the loss of her infant son in 2011. Her other blog is IAmThePoppyFlower. She created Muslimah Montage as a platform for women to share their stories and inspire others. Follow Muslimah Montage on Twitter, and visit their Facebook page.


3 Comments on “Soulmates”

  1. Alan Howard says:

    Beautiful. I will never, ever make apologies for loving my own soulmates – Friends, my late wife, etc. To stop loving and stop being open is to build walls around yourself. The only downside to being open and genuine is that you open yourself to be hurt so easily. And that hurt aches more painfully then anything else.

  2. Reblogged this on pengantin pelik and commented:
    Too beautiful not to share. And I’m reminded of a phrase I had used to describe an old friend whom I once had the opportunity to get close to; ‘a kindred spirit’. We were so alike, I had declared it ‘crazy and scary’. Together with another friend, we had a dream of opening a book café; yes, a café where people could say, “Yes I’ll have that book to go with my coffee,” and they could spend the time there reading leisurely.

    That was a good ten years ago, and for some reason life took a different turn, I made some choices and neither did I nurture nor take the effort to pursue the friendship when circumstances slowly made us drift away from each other.

    Or perhaps it was just me who felt like they were ‘kindred spirits’, while for them I’m just another old friend who came and went. But reading this makes me miss them and my heart ache for the soulmates that could have been.