Coming Out As A Geek Is Hard To Do

I spent most of my life hiding who I really was until a conversation with Nhu-An (now my fiancée) changed everything.

We’ve crossed the one-year anniversary of my blog, Brain Knows Better, and it’s pretty incredible to think how much my life has changed over this last year. It’s been a ton of fun to explore the psychology of sci-fi, but more than anything, this blog has helped me be honest about who I am – a big geek.

I didn’t like who I was in middle school and tried everything I could to blend in.I wasn’t always this open about being a geek. For most of my life, I tried to hide it. In middle school, I knew some kids who wore Starfleet uniforms to class. When they were bullied for it, I stood by silently. Back then, I probably watched as much Star Trek: The Next Generation after school as they did, but I wanted nothing to do with them. They weren’t cool and more than anything else, I wanted to fit in.

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Zen and the Art of Delving


Love, Inshallah is happy to showcase our resident geek. We take this opportunity to wish her a wonderful, magical birthday!

Last year, I wrote about turning thirty years old and defying the hype and expectations that surround that number. I felt brave and strong and true, fortified by my ideas and the steps I’d taken to finally start following my own expectations. I was on a journey dammit, and nothing was going to stand in my way.

This week, I turned thirty-one years old, and here’s what I learned: other people’s expectations don’t let up, they intensify, and even the best-made plans experience hiccups along the way. Brave aspirations are only part of the inventory you arm yourself with on what turns out to be a longer quest than you had anticipate.

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The Geekologist: Your TARDIS Or Mine?

Editor’s note: Writer Zainab Chaudary is coming on board as a monthly columnist!

Look for her column, “The Geekologist” every third Wednesday of the month!


I speak six languages.

Well, to be fair, one of them is not so much a language as it is an entire shift in being and mannerisms. I imagine I look like some sort of alarmed bird, a goose maybe, or a duck: my eyes get super-wide, I gesticulate wildly with my arms the way startled waterfowl flap their wings. I frighten small children and twitchy adults. Words like TARDISHellmouth and “frak” escape my lips like gibberish.

I refer to it as “Geek-Speak,” though I’m sure it has other names like “Nerding Out” or “Fan-Girling.” Woe upon the unsuspecting friend who gets me started on a show I love,  an underrated sci-fi concept, or space exploration. By the end of my breathless explanation, they look doubtful of my sanity and  do a quick visual scan for the nearest exits.

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